Delibatio

2009-03-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

2009-03-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

2008-08-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

Writer: My conscience wants vegetarianism to win over the world. And my subconscious is yearning for a piece of juicy meat. But what do I want?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Writer: A man writes because he is tormented, because he doubts. He needs to constantly prove to himself and the others that he's worth something. And if I know for sure that I'm a genius? Why write then? What the hell for

2008-08-04T06:15:00.000-07:00

oma

2008-07-26T18:31:00.000-07:00

Heavy Hearts

Sennheiser HD 590

Now men
with purple hearts
carry silver guns.
And they will kill a man for what his fathers done ..

And all wept, and bewailed her: but he said:
"Weep not; she is not dead, but sleepeth."

-Luke 8:52

2008-07-07T17:02:00.000-07:00

So there still is hope. Yes, I can be healed.
There is someone looking for what I've concealed in my secret drawer,
in my pockets deep, you will find the reasons that I can't sleep and you will still want me.But will you still want me?

2008-07-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

2008-07-03T05:20:00.000-07:00

Psychoanalysis: a rabbit that was swallowed by a boa constrictor that just wanted to see what it was like in there.

I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don't say what it wants to hear.

2008-06-21T00:24:00.000-07:00

I want the world to know: you won’t beat us

Rev. Al Sharpton

2008-06-07T06:03:00.001-07:00

It had to end to begin

Probably, most likely, yeah. It seems I'll continue my journey through the picturesque woods of life, at the academy next year. It doesn't seem that much of a big deal (if only because most people made it, and even roaches have kids), but I experience a true feeling of exultant happiness.

It has been a difficult time. Through my art I've personally broken down my defences and games and found out that I am not the one building the mazes. In fact, I'm like most people I know, lost in the mazes not knowing where I am or where I'm going.

Making Art is a losing game, so one should at least be good at it. Also: I must be good at something? My ambitions and plans may be regarded as pipe dreams by the common folk but I believe that in the end it will be a Pyrrhic victory: with this curse of many ideas a few of them should turn out succesful.

"I took off my shoes and walked into the woods
I felt lost and found with every step I took"

2008-06-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

A fever.
Assessment
Once again I can not sleep.
What was it for?

2008-05-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

2008-04-28T15:03:00.000-07:00

EER
HET GOD'LIJK LICHT
IN D'OPENBARINGEN
VAN DE KUNST

2008-04-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

Some of the paintings I made this semester.

2008-04-04T03:25:00.000-07:00

This morning while having breakfast I made this drawing, and at school I wrote the text under it on a diffirent page and made a collage in Photoshop.

2008-04-01T23:42:00.000-07:00

Monday:
Setting up and working in studio

Tuesday:
Photoshopping at home
Giving a design assignment
Discuss moviemaking with friend
Watch behind-the-scenes and making-of's of stunts and special effects of Indiana Jones and Star Wars

Wednesday:
Art History
Character Design

Thursday:
Work in Studio (probably working out the 4 concepts I have so far)

Friday:
Work in Studio (probably working on mechanics for a camera frame)

2008-03-20T16:12:00.001-07:00

2008-03-20T06:21:00.000-07:00

2008-03-18T10:48:00.001-07:00

"More Magnificent"
Animation I made for school.

As for figuring out the meaning of the title and the movie, here is a hint:

quote from:
A Scanner Darkly

The pain, so unexpected and undeserved had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didn't hate the cabinet door, I hated my life... My house, my family, my backyard, my power mower. Nothing would ever change; nothing new could ever be expected. It had to end, and it did. Now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing.

2008-03-04T11:11:00.000-08:00

Based on this photo I made two selfportraits. This is one, made in photoshop with a custom brush with a Intuos3. The following painting was made with acryl paint on paper:

Bitter or sweet.

2D work:

2008-02-28T23:36:00.001-08:00

To me it appears to have totally failed encoding it http://video.google.nl/videoplay?docid=-4445689398072675833&hl=nl

2008-02-25T15:43:00.000-08:00

Theo Jansen
Kinetic Sculptor

A short intro:

A ten minute presentation and explanation on TEDtalks

An example of how it works.

2008-02-23T11:41:00.000-08:00

The Architecture
of Trauma

Art is the experiencing-or rather-the re-experiencing of trauma

I cannot get out of the house. I want to. I have to. I would like to. I was planning to, but I gave up at the last minute

LOUISE BOURGEOIS

2008-02-20T13:52:00.000-08:00

Source: The documentary series The Power of Art (BBC) which I have been watching.

Joseph Mallord William Turner

(1775-1851)

"One of Britain's most celebrated artists, Turner showed exceptional artistic talent from an early age and entered the Royal Academy aged fourteen. His English landscapes made his name but there was a darker side to his paintings that was difficult for the critics to swallow, both in the increasingly informal use of paint and the subject matter that was critical of the romanticised vision of Britain in the late nineteenth century.

Turner bequeathed 300 of his paintings and 20,000 watercolours and drawings to the nation. He led a secretive private life. He never married, but had a mistress and fathered two children. He died in a temporary lodging in Chelsea, under the assumed name of Booth. "

Simon Schama on Turner:

"In 1840 in London, an international convention of the Great and Good was planned to express righteous indignation against slavery in the United States. Turner, initiated into the cause many years before by his patron, Walter Fawkes, wanted to have his say in paint. So how does he do it? By being a thorn in the side of self congratulation.

He reaches back 60 years to resurrect one of the most shameful episodes in the history of the British Empire when 132 Africans - men, women and children, their hands and feet fettered - were thrown overboard into the shark infested waters of the Caribbean. And Turner has drowned you in this moment, pulled you into this terrifying chasm in the ocean, drenched you in this bloody light - exactly the hue you sense in your blood filled optic nerves when you close your eyes in blinding sunlight.

Though almost all of his critics believed that the painting represented an all time low in Turner's reckless disregard for the rules of art, it was in fact his greatest triumph in the sculptural carving of space."

2008-02-19T07:56:00.001-08:00

www.fotolog.com/popoptix12

2008-02-11T13:03:00.000-08:00

Today I painted for the first time. Really. I did make some drawings with black paint last year (which explains why I can't find any black paint now). The first 5 didn't look like anything (they are 20 minute modelpaintings). When we got to the selfportrait I got upset with the material not doing what I wanted so I tried and tried until I figured it out and eventually screwed it up at the very ending. I was at school untill 18.40: late enough for me.

The last few days I've been going 'back to basics'. Theories about colour, composition, lines.. Really great stuff that have opened up my mind alot. At first I knew that I had much to learn but it felt as if I had grown up till the sealing and was stuck. Now it feels as if I can see what I have to do in order to grow as an artist. The path is long and hard and sort of like a labyrinth but I see how I have to go.

I've read about colour theory and I found out that all my work this far, even in photography (!), has been low key chroma. I've been afraid of colours because I didn't understand them. That's what you get from working in black and white (pencils) all your life. Colour theory also altered my previous theory about 'form'. I figured that form was defined by light and dark. Without either form would not be. Colour theory teaches that form is not light or dark, but tone.

With going back to basics I also mean simple perspective drawings and reading about composition (both in the Digital Photographer and Creative Illustration (Andrew Loomis).

I have found a purpose for my A3 dummy: composition practice and rendering.

Don't be fatuous.
Disease - Not practicing enough even when knowing you have to....
Treatment - Watch others do the right thing
Cure - Practice life drawing

Also a real eyeopener:

Edge basics 101:There is a scale of edges, just as there is a scale of values. It goes from hard>firm>soft>lost. Just as with value, you can use the whole scale in one picture or just a piece of it. The careful manipulation of edges is one of the most overlooked, but most important, tools an artist can use to create form, atmosphere, and believability.

In general, edges are:
Harder in the light, softer in the shadow
Harder in bright light, softer in dim light
Harder in focused light, softer in diffused light
Harder in the foreground, softer in the background
Harder on smooth forms, softer on textured forms
Harder on hard forms, softer on soft forms (Duh, but really)
Harder on flat forms, softer on rounded forms
Harder on thin forms, softer on thick forms
Harder on still forms, softer on forms in motion (on moving forms they are harder on the leading edge and softer on the trailing edge)
Harder at the center of interest, softer as you move away

The above are additive. So a kitten, far away, in the dark, would be really soft.

"All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible."
-T.E. Lawrence

2008-02-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

I went to the International Film Festival Rotterdam last friday.
I went to Peur(s) du noir and Sügisball.
I especially liked Autumn Ball. It had one of the most beautiful sequences I had ever seen in a movie in it, great acting and directing (it was the directors first film as well!). Great and interesting story. If this movie makes it to dvd I'll be first in line to get it..

2008-02-03T14:12:00.000-08:00

Today was a busy day:

Destiny

Ill willed

Sadness

Obnoxious

This was for a one hour speedpaint contest.

And this one for a two hour 'invent your own machine' contest.

This is from yesterday:

Street Photography
001
002
003
004
005
006
007
008
009
010
011

2008-01-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

2008-01-30T03:30:00.000-08:00

2008-01-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

"I could taste your stink
Are you a leftover?
Were you lost?
Why did you crawl up my heater and die?
Now I had to break the wall"

2008-01-21T04:06:00.000-08:00

"14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy."

"Every so often, and individual is born who stands out a little from the rest of his people."

2008-01-21T01:59:00.000-08:00

"ik ben niet van plan met tegenzin mijn dagen te slijten,
daarvoor zijn er te weinig"

-Engel

2008-01-16T12:30:00.000-08:00

The biggest blunder of 2008

To proceed awkwardly and uncertainly; blunder:

Most likely it's going to the press and giving the wrong file to print on A0 (1m2) in colour on high quality pearl paper. With a bit of luck I'll be able to stop the press first thing in the morning.

A selection of photo's for print:

self defense manoeuvre

the easy road

ghost and the darkness

untitled

face

untitled

conversation

comfort

HDR imagery

2008-01-13T17:40:00.000-08:00

Today's photographs

And another try at High Dynamic Range Photography:

This one needs a little tweaking though.

2008-01-13T17:19:00.000-08:00

A few older entries from my sketchbook

2008-01-02T23:40:00.000-08:00

HDR photography.

I read the Digital Photographer a few weeks ago and was blown away by the article about High Dynamic Range photography. I was aware of the technique and I've seen it in games but to think of it in photography was quite something. So in my previous photoshoot I fixed the camera on a tripod and made multiple photo's of the hallway with diffirent shutterspeeds (F/3,5 at 1/8 sec and F/4 at 1,6 sec). I then put them over each other and came with the following result.

It might not be mindblowing but this was a first try. If photography at school is open today I might pick up a camera and try some other stuff. (so this isn't edited in the 'traditional' photoshop sense except that there is a fine line where the photo's overlap)

More on HDR

2007-12-28T06:09:00.000-08:00

3D work:

2007-12-28T06:00:00.000-08:00

I've been invited to test a next-gen game at Coded Illusions on januari 11th.

Taken from AD.nl:

In het diepste geheim werken ruim dertig man van Coded Illusions aan een computerspel dat straks over de hele wereld gespeeld moet worden. De game moet onder andere op spelcomputers als de Xbox 360 en de nog te verschijnen Playstation 3 kunnen worden gedraaid. Over de inhoud van het spel ('een action/adventure game, met een verhaallijn') kan het bedrijf, uit concurrentieoverwegingen, nog niets vertellen.

Wél onthullen de directeuren Richard Stitselaar en Pieter Slingerland dat het om een gigantische investering gaat. ,,Voor zo'n spel heb je tussen de zes en tien miljoen euro nodig,’’ vertelt Slingerland. ,,En nog eens eenzelfde bedrag voor de marketing.’’ Stitselaar legt uit: ,,We hebben alleen al voor het geluid bijvoorbeeld een aparte afdeling waar 20 uur muziek is gecomponeerd. Dat geluid is interactief. Als je in het spel in gevecht bent hoor je bijvoorbeeld opzwepende muziek, daarna wordt het weer rustiger.’’Ieder figuurtje of autootje in het spel moet apart ontworpen worden. En een flinke groep programmeurs moet zorgen dat het spel feilloos te besturen is.

De onderneming heeft, met hulp van Ontwikkelingsbedrijf Rotterdam (OBR), zijn intrek genomen in het Groothandelsgebouw. Vanavond komt burgemeester Opstelten het pand openen. Een mijlpaal voor Stitselaar en Slingerland die, heel klassiek, in de woonkamer begonnen. ,,We hebben met veel geldschieters gepraat, maar dat waren vaak tussenpersonen die niet eens wisten wat een Xbox is. Vreselijk. Toen hebben we besloten zélf geld te zoeken. Uiteidelijk vonden we een aantal particuliere investeerders.’’

Het komt niet vaak voor dat Nederlandse bedrijven grote spellen maken voor Xbox en PlayStation. Zonde, vindt Coded Illusions. Want zo dreigt ons land de slag in de game-industrie te missen. ,,Terwijl daar vele miljarden euro's in omgaan,’’ zegt Stitselaar. ,,Die bedragen verdubbelen om de twee jaar. We zijn nu al groter dan de filmindustrie,’’ vult Slingerland aan. De gemiddelde leeftijd van een gamer is zelfs al 31 jaar. De game-industrie is gigantisch én volwassen. ,,Daarom zijn we zelf ook een soort branchevereniging begonnen. We moeten zorgen dat de Benelux meedoet.’’

Straks zal de markt worden gedomineerd door een paar hele grote bedrijven. En als het meezit hoort Coded Illusions daar dan bij. De twee directeuren doen er in ieder geval alles aan om ervaren, gedreven mensen aan te trekken. De één werd door een school afgewezen, de ander is afgestudeerd aan de TU Delft. ,,Maar het zijn allemaal twintigers die dit vak héél goed verstaan.’’

2007-12-09T17:35:00.000-08:00

So instead of working on tomorrow's class I became obsessed with mastering the programs Zbrush. Earlier today I couldn't do anything. Once, about a year ago I asked one of my neighbours to help me out and he explained it to me once. I failed to remember the dozens of buttons and commands in order for anything to work, so it never took off. Today however I took a few courses and tutorials and I was well on my way. Somewhere halfway I forgot to mirror the clay model so thats why there is a glitch in the nose.. And the eyes.. just didn't work out at all. For a first try not too bad though. I find that this newfound form of image (=communication) is on par with my obsession with my other latest discovery (taking High Dynamic Range photo's).

2007-12-06T06:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's mediocre sketch:

Today's schedule:
Make two short conceptmovies about time (wasting)

2007-11-29T04:52:00.000-08:00

You thought you would be safe now that you found the exit, but you made a mistake. You assumed I had patience. From the darkness appears a kagebunshin who starts sending pulses of chakra in my palm. The rasengan appears. You are fucked..

Finished.. Ok so I DID have patience.. Else this work would not have turned out like this..
Damn.. Started working on this piece since this 06.00 this morning but there were 2 previous versions of this drawing, but I ended up redoing the largest part. The composition and figures were already there, but the there isn't a single pixel that I didnt repaint today. This actually started out as something I made out of boredom.

The floor was done with a texture of a picture I took off an wall.

Sigh, I must have worked about 3 full days something on this piece (spread over a week). Sometimes I could not stomach looking at it so I would take alot of breaks. I mirrored the image alot to get a 'fresh' look at the composition and colourbalances. I've spend alot of time trying to perfect the balance of the picture. Right now it's a bit off but that's on purpose. That way you have to look to the drawing longer.
While working on this one last night I already started a scrap for a possible new work of this caliber.

engan3-600.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5138245564624424882" />

And here is a work in progress from the beginning to where I am now. I'm just messing with the environment, cropping, composition and intensity.

2007-11-27T11:56:00.001-08:00

Sigh..
Trying to find that balance.. Should I..
Quit? Continue? Add light? Make it darker?

2007-11-27T08:16:00.000-08:00

Some conceptual/abstract photographs:
Some, like #7, kind of looks like how people with synesthesia might experience the world.

Also an update on "Rasengan!":

2007-11-20T23:09:00.000-08:00

A few works in progress that started pretty simple and spontaneous but got out of hand.

2007-11-19T03:57:00.000-08:00

A selection of the 1087 pictures I took this weekend.

2007-11-16T05:13:00.000-08:00

The three sketches from wednesday:

And thursday just this start:

Today I've been looking at other techniques for pencils which I might try. It seems that alot of photorealistic drawings in the world were made on a somewhat larger scale then I've been working and more importantly, they are all referenced from photo's.

I have a nice A3 sketchbook waiting for me, but first I am going to try some more techniques in the A4 sketchbook.

2007-11-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of my pretensious bullshit. I've wasted years of my life on nothing. Building up a career. Studying to be one with the anthill. Making sure my place in the anthill would be somewhere mid-range and not at the bottom.

It feels like I've been drawing in my sketchbook non-stop yet all I have today are these 3 pages and looking at the competition just now I feel like I can't sleep just yet.. But I guess 12 out of the 80 pages sketchbook in 3 days is not that bad. I intend to fill the book before the next presentation.

One difficult thing I learned was daring to finally let go of control and my old way of drawing and define shape through shading instead of making complex cartoon outlines.

This weeks things to remember to check out:

Fall out boy
Edgar Cayce
Pim van Lommel: Eindeloos bewustzijn
Hans Rosling's new work
Job 5, 12;8
http://info.zylom.com/jobs/havefunday.php
http://www.gemeentemuseum.nl/
David Kramer
Heerko Tieleman
Cibachroom
Richard Hamilton
Gerhard Richter

2007-11-14T02:51:00.000-08:00

Started drawing in my new sketchbook.

2007-11-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

Season 2 Episode 2

Preconceived Ideas and Indoctrination by media stereotypes
Information: blocked. Statistics, truth. -> passwords, boring data. The world has, and still is greatly changing. This however, is relatively unknown. Why is this?
Who benefits? Indoctrination and the media have us convinced that the world we see in the news and read in the papers represents the real world. I believe this notion is not only false, it's wrong.

And I wonder.. Knowledge is out there for the taking. All you have to do is stand up and look around, don't stay sitting in your chair. Why are so many facts frowned upon? "Universal truth does not measure in mass appeal." Just because you haven't seen it on television doesn't means it's unlikely, farfetched, not true, or nothing you should be worrying about! Turn off the news and read!

Question everything people want you to believe. Take a look on the other side of the story, think about the motivations.

Today I was searching all the free papers I could find to look for a similar situation to one I had a few weeks ago with the spits. There was this big article that made first page news, with speculating headlines, colour photos and sensational quotes. I happened to know a little about the subject and I was interested but suspicous. Only in the last paragraph it was briefly mentioned that the research is incomplete and by many scientists regarded as farfetched, rediculous and has alot of gaps in the theory.

I found a few interesting and dubious articles amoung were: The queens sense of foodtaste (?) and the reconstruction of the pharao's face, which only turned to black dust because of the heat, moist and dirt. Basicly they took him out of hist tomb in which he was safely conserved for thousands of years. Then we took him out, and he rots to dust in just a fraction of that. Now, to show our respect for the pharao, we've reconstructed his face and displayed him in a plastic airtight box, so he may be there for open view for many years to come.

It's like a fucking freakshow. Now take this article:

What's this? This is not news? This is a sequence of personal opinions that support the notion that what's going on is rediculous. I'm not saying it's not. The opinions aren't wrong either. They are opinions you see? So they aren't right either. I wasn't able to find the quality paper "Spits" so the Metro has to suffice for now. But to this article and many other things we find in the media today: There are no facts, only pure speculation and suggestion. It's based on opinions to support a statement that influences public opinion (including my own in a way).

About the opinions: who ARE these people? Do the people matter? So it's someones opinion displayed in a paper, does this make it news? Is it even true? Is it realistic to say that that's truly the view of the situation there? Again, I'm not even saying it's not true, I'm saying that it's just news to form our opinions and/or have something to read, not because it's really frontpage mindblowing.

Typing this makes me think back to this documentary: Avenge but one of my two eyes. But I have to come back to this later since the school is closing.

Still from "Avenge but on of my two eyes" from Avi Mograbi.

2007-11-02T17:21:00.001-07:00

This night I read some pulptuous magazine about movies when I came across this movie called Beowulf. I heared alot of things about this movie and was quite curious to what all the fuzz was about. Apparantly it's a cgi movie but for the most part uses motioncaptured famous actors. So it almost looks like they are the actors, but still blend in naturally with the 3d action and surroundings.

Taking this into my head I went on a hike under the moonlight and let it all work into me, when I had to think about what one of the students said earlier today. There were presentations today and I decided to make some prints of my digital work and show them along with some pages from my sketchbook. One person said 'did you trace these?'. I said 'yeah.. yeah I did..'. Ofcourse I didn't trace them.. So I said.. 'No.. no I didn't trace them'. Then I explained the progress and how I start a drawing like that.

Back to now, I ask myself: "why do I spend way over 8 hours making a picture that looks as if I traced it from a photo? "

I believe this movie Beowulf is confirming a new trend and we've seen it happening before: people that no longer make paintings from scratch but use reference and/or trace the outlines with help from a beamer. I also like people combining photos and digital art and effects to create entire new believable worlds. Maybe movies like A Scanner Darkly, which I thought was mindblowing really did set in a new standard.

Question: should I pursue this genuine art of drawing from reference to take pictures somewhere new? (If I go with the advice from the book 'whatever you think, think the opposite", then I say: yes. Yes I will pursue this new direction that seems to be happening all over the world. Even my great examples did it..)

Also:
Today I also rediscovered an old effect that suggests motion which I will only remember by writing it down right now.

2007-10-20T05:17:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been working as a instructor at an antfarmlike environment where people lift heavy stuff all day long. I'm very inspired by life and find beauty in so many things. My obsession with patterns have reached a new peak as I seek for them in bark, leather, moving water, skin and stone. I've also been perplexed by the beauty of asymmetry. Where symmetry could reak of perfection and safe design, I find asymmetry much more bolder and unique. Look at the bark of trees, the patterns in a worn out leather jacket. I resent the notion that something beautiful is something without flaws or scars, like a photoshopped image of a perfectly symmetric supermodel. The weird smile, patterns and scars are the things that touch me.

Oh, just found some photoshopfilter experiments I made like, a month ago or something.

2007-09-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Du dunkler Engel in der Nacht ,
was hast du aus mir gemacht
Ich kann dich nicht vergessen ,
Ich bin von dir besessen

Wishing this could last

2007-09-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

Taken May 2007

2007-09-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

Are you watching closely?

[text is] a poor excuse I know, but it helps me remember.

"And I need to remember"

"Are you watching closely" is an obvious reference to the movie The Prestige. The latter quote is partially from American Beauty, which I once made rule not to quote after 23.00, simply because I would quote it too damn much. The reason for the text is that I'm a firm believer that biographical blogs are read by few and even less really care. The reason for my ranting is because for me, this is something to remember (no, not the 5th of november damnit-emant!). I forget things. The problem with a lot of blogs also is that within the text there are alot of hyperlinks to other websites (references, sources, etc.) which makes reading quite bothersome. Therefor I shall link very little. You can google it up yourself.

Today was quite the day. It was confirmed to me that not only I didn't have to attend to the classes I already passed, I also did not need to worry about the classes I *didn't* pass last year.
After that I drove my bicycle to school and felt an audiophilic burst of energy as I experienced the sound via my headphones. I attended class, nearly on time I might add, and listened to Hans Laban talking. Alot of people had questions and comments and I had a few flashbacks to last year. Hans asked the people what kind of art they have in mind for themselves in the future and why. He also asked some who their heroes were in that certain branch of profession. I had to ponder about this myself. Frank Miller comes to mind, but certainly also Edwin Rhemrev who has been a personal inspiration for the last few years. Linda Bergkvist is so amazing that it's more demotivating then an inspiration but definetaly an artist I would like to be able to best some day. Other then that I'd have to say Gino Sprio, Bill Viola, Elsa Kroese and my grandpa, the one that got me into art.

After class I had a nice chat and I had my excellent cup of coffee when my train departed to Amsterdam.
Then suddenly I started drawing again. After last weeks experience of 'letting go of happiness' (when I let go of making the picture pretty and let it happen on the way, where 'happy accidents' happen) today I found my old self again. The inspired one.

As the day progressed, I ran into an old friend who has just recently started at the HKU, and I felt even better. A bunch of other fun stuff happened but it was at the end of this great day that I came to another realisation: discovering everything isn't fun. You need to wonder and ponder.

It's like when you are amazed by, for example, a Carnivàle show and just for a moment you got to see something quite special. You're looking for the answer, but you won't find it. Because you don't really want to know. "You want to be fooled." I however could not let go of this example and I tried and I tried to discover the secret. I attended the show more and more and analyzed everything. I won't spoil the name of the show but I couldn't let go and needed to know. You're better off not knowing.
In a drawing or painting, I've had the need to define everything. However this is ofcourse not even pretty and you're not leaving anything for the viewer to imagine or to interpreted.

The realisation was spawned by my detective nose for trouble. A bunch of guys had been hanging around at the station at one o clock at night for a multitude of occasions now and I was positive that they were part of a shady business going on. Either that, or they were pickpocketing. Me and my camera crew were once surrounded by a bunch of similar dudes at night and they seemed very interested in the camera. The mystery of the guy and his henchmen was ofcourse far more intriguing then discovering that they're just taxidrivers looking for customers (which you will find on a station when the trains just stop coming and going).

Back to not knowing. I think that now I realise that in an image there is no need for (alot of) details. It's getting the message across. Often I found that a sketch of a moment is much more beautiful then when you redraw it and make it 'pretty' and full of details. (In case that you have a moment worth sharing and you are able to take a picture of it:) As a photograph is to a sketch, walking is to driving a bicycle. I'll clarify this: From Lonely Planet travelersbooks I've learend that apparently you experience cultures/countries/landscapes much more and intense when you drive a bicycle then when you would take the car or a bus. This is common knowledge to alot of travelers. Taking the bus will get you from point A to point B but the world in between flashes before your eyes. Taking the bike will let you experience the world more intensely. However, there are some that claim that even cycling will not let you experience the world to it's fullest potentional. Sturdy walkers are positive that taking the bike is letting the world pass through you like a breeze. If you want to fully experience it you have to really slow down and be amazed by all the wonderful things that this world has to show.

"you can't take a picture of this,

it's already gone"

With this quotation from Alan Ball, I come to what I already knew: a moment is a moment. You have be there to experience it. If you try to take a picture of it, it's already gone: you missed it. So taking a picture is already a step down from the actual moment: A framed piece of plastic covered paper where you froze time, even for just a second. Perfect capture of the visual happening. Now making a sketch of it captures the moment less well (visually) and there is no way you can get that same feel of atmosphere to it as with the photo. But.. For a moment.. You can make people wonder. And I believe that's something of beauty.
Now in this case I'm assuming the moment captured is something that really exists, but it applies to both from imagination and set-up pictures.
If we live our lives right, everything we do can become a work of art.
In an attempt to tip the scales I'm looking for the balance between a simple sketch, and the visual pleasure of an awesome piece of art, to create a communicating image that makes the viewer experience a moment for himself. Perhaps even a little like the one I experienced or wanted other people to experience.

these drawings were referenced from famous photographs by Gino Sprio

2007-09-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

Soon you will leave

This one is coming up nicely. I tried to add more depth to the face by applying more shadows and clear headlights to define the cheekbones and the cheeks more as well as shaping up the chin. I also made the overall picture darker and smaller. I still don't think I'm there.. When I redid the background the charm of the simple light disappeared and I think I want to combine both pieces to one. I also dropped all the details on the hair because it distracted too much, but I also don't want to make it too dull.

2007-09-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

Works in Progress and details of upcoming submissions 09 2007

2007-09-03T05:57:00.000-07:00

Serieel Beeld

pics by Devulus

2007-04-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

Some random older stuff to remind myself what I've been up to since I'm at the academy:

2007-04-12T03:10:00.000-07:00

Some things I'm experimenting with for the final project. I guess trying diffirent styles/forms of drawing. I also took alot of pictures but it appears it will take 5 days to develop those so that's quite the setback. Good thing that I'll be using a professional camera soon.

2007-04-08T16:43:00.000-07:00

Dreams have only one owner at a time.
That's why dreamers are lonely.

-Erma Bombeck

2007-01-23T09:42:00.000-08:00

Got my grades back:

Philosophy 7
Art history 7

2007-01-18T06:20:00.000-08:00

YES!
YES!

Damn these last couple of weeks were quite tiresome. Many many nights without sleep spent on drawings, paintings, filming and editting.

Friday I had my last trial for 2D wich ended with succes. I had to bring so many stuff with me that my A2 map broke.

Then last monday I had the general trial which is like, 3 diffirent teachers judging ALL your work. Now imagine bringing ALL your work with you! I found a nice suitcase and brought a laptop... I passed, but I couldn't stumach the idea of packing up ALL my stuff again so I just trew away half. I got home and felt deadbeat.

I went to sleep at 22.15 and slept till 15.30.

In the end it ended up like this:

7
6
6
5

Which means I passed. I have to work much harder though!!

2007-01-15T07:33:00.000-08:00

2D

experiments:

2/12

2007-01-11T07:01:00.000-08:00

I just came across these screens of a flash animation I did last year. On the background there was the song Poison Oak (about the death of a person close to you). In this animation there just had to be a few things like motiontweens, buttons etc.

And the Kubrick Collection Box. Unfortunately his movies Dr.Strangelove OHILTSWALTB, Spartacus (which was only directed half by Kubrick or so I've heared) and 2001 A space oddysee are not in this box.

2007-01-11T06:21:00.000-08:00

Trying out diffirent styles again. Eyes are VERY small from the side and isometric and 3/4 view but much larger from the front. The entire nose is one big entity with holes in it, not 3 small entities. Cheekbones are more shallow then I thought.

An Angel in the house of God, drenched in blood, creating a new heaven with her fingers.

2007-01-06T09:24:00.000-08:00

2D s2
Textures of skin and form of fingers. More round then I remembered them in my head. In my opinion hands look much cooler if they are really boney and straight, but truth is they are really curved and round.

Another few studies of the hand and fingers as well as some tryouts for a new style of drawing faces.

For 2D light and shadow but I just left the lineart. According to Brian Bates facial recognition is based on light and dark (shadow) and not on contours or lineart.

Some 5 second sketches of ideas I have for 2D

1 The middle brother guarding the other 2, even if the other two are more likely to take care of themselves then the middle one, they respect him in his choice and stand by him.
2 Even if the three brothers would overcome our difficulties with eichother, there will always be someone else in whoms shadow we can only stand
3 Riddle: There's someone that I'm always near,Yet in the dark I disappear.To this one only I am loyal,Though in his wake I'm doomed to toil.He feels me not (we always touch);If I were lost, he'd not lose much.And now I come to my surprise,For you are he...but who am I?

Who is more lonely? Being alone with nothing but your shadow? Or your shadow? You never notice him anyways..
4 The oldest brother followed by the middle brother
5 The middle brother setting an example for the youngest brother.

Again, the oldest and the middle brother.

Light, shadow and collarbones.

2007-01-06T09:18:00.000-08:00

Conceptart 2b

Here is the 2nd cut from 3 weeks ago. It's in pretty bad quality. I hope to edit it some more and have it in full quality when I show it at school.

I filmed some more for this movie. ALOT more. I think I have about 2 times the runtime as I have this movie right now. I'm not sure how long it was supposed to be (don't think there was a specific runtime) but it's most likely to be over 10 minutes. Either way, I'll see how it goes.

2007-01-06T08:38:00.000-08:00

Beeld & Concept 2

On a monday 4 weeks ago I realised what I wanted to do with Beeld&Concept (which I'll dub Conceptart from now). It was a martialart-like movie. Here are a few sketches I made for a battle sequence.

And here is the first part of the movie on Youtube

2007-01-06T00:51:00.000-08:00

This is one of the first drawings that gave me the feeling that I was on the right trail. It's a bit old but it got me into school so..

This is me on the picture. Photomanipulation (no textures added)

2007-01-06T00:27:00.000-08:00

Old man.
Girl
Alot of people thought I traced this painting. I'll just not-feel insulted and take it as a compliment.
Oh God this was so crappy. I'm very grateful that I failed this class, because it motivates me more to really reach out and find my limits and overcome them. Usually when I surpass myself I feel as if I've ascended from my former self into this new being which is able to do new things. This drawing never made me feel like that. It sucks. Why did I know it sucked in advance?

This picture always reminds me of Kubricks Barry Lyndon, a beautiful movie which features alot of candles.

Illustration I made for our party.

It's a cloud, what can I say.

It's blueman, the result of leftovers of paint and water.

Don't try this at home

Something I made with the excuse of 'learning to draw wet material and skin and realistic water', but I stopped when I realised I just wanted to make an ass and should stop fooling myself.

2007-01-06T00:20:00.000-08:00

Silly humans, why do I like us?

2007-01-06T00:07:00.000-08:00

Here is one of the experiments I did with colour and composition. These were originally two seperate drawings and I intend to use them that way. However, I just looked at what I had made and discovered that they could actually be related pictures, either in sequence and if not, in collage. This is like.. What kids really want to do when you don't give them the attention they want to have.

Most recently, this is one of the drawings I'll be using for the upcoming 2D trials.
The theme is 'shadows' and even if it doesn't show that much in this particular drawing, it is more obvious in other works, which are in about the same style in both natural as digital media.

2007-01-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

Drawn in Photoshop CS with my tablet. Studying of texture in skin finally shows some results in this drawing (completely from the head, no ref). Dubbed 'Don't talk don't talk', it could be used as a 'do not disturb' sign at hotelroom doors or just your personal room.

2007-01-05T21:50:00.000-08:00

The busdriver had an interesting texture in his face that I was compelled to look at. Textures in skin just catches my attention lately.

2D class

semi-portrait drawn from reference

My grandfather, my hero. Drawn from reference, satisfied with the way the 'texture' worked out.

2007-01-05T21:48:00.000-08:00

I was bored ok? Digi art

A doodle of mine (mirrorwork)

A beautiful shot from 'The Green Mile'

2007-01-05T21:46:00.000-08:00

This picture is a still from my short animation film.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lXbQ-MdORY8

A try with ink (first time)

2006-12-11T00:19:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXbQ-MdORY8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5CRRe979iQ

And I hope I can find the new one when I get at school. Tagwords: Stalking brother or something..

2006-11-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

The beginning

Alright let me start at the beginning. Here is some random stuff I made somewhere in the first few months at the academy.

For 2D I made a bunch of stuff and I didn't take pictures of all of them but here are a few:

Uehm there used to be alot more but I guess I'll take pictures of those later. Below is a drawing I made for 'Beeld en Concept', which I'll just dub as 'concept' from now on. I'll be posting the stuff I did for Serieel and 3D later on as soon as I find, scan and take pictures of the stuff

Concept class:

2006-10-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

So I'm an art academy student and school started over a month ago and already the trials are coming up in about 3 weeks. I've been waiting for this for years so there's no way in hell I'm not gonna make it, but this uneasy feeling eats me away from the inside, and the question must be asked: 'why does it feel almost 'too easy'?'. I mean, I do work hard and I work on my homework longer then anyone, but it just seems that I'm not doing enough.. As if I should do even more..